i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
