Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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