My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
