I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
