So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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