I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
