someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
