it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize