I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
