dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
sex in a hospital.. check
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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