We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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