ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
