I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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