there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
