I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
