I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
