She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
