i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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