So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
