ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i've created a new STD.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
