Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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