She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
