yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
