Ambien. No doubt about it.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
