i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
