I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize