Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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