btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
