sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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