Where did you get a picture of my penis
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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