is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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