kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
