mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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