he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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