they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Terrible idea I love it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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