We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
