margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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