if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
there's paper in my vomit.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
