the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
