i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
