Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
