Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
