the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Its about making memories worth repressing
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
