what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
