you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
