Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she peed on how many people?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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