Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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