If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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