I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i love accidental penises.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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