I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
