WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
