he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
