remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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