FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
