can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
