i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Randomize
