The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize