I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
