I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
