I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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